The Room

This would be a long message, but it is really worth your time. I took this from a book by Christian author Joshua Harris. This is a real account of what he dreamt of one night.

“The Room”

I found myself in a room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files.

They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject. These files, are stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction. As I drew close to the wall of files, the first to catch my attention reads “Girls I have liked”. I opened it and was shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room was a catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t even match.

I began randomly opening file, exploring their contents. Some brought sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

The titles of the files ranged from mundane to the outright weird: “Books I have read”, “Lies I have told”, “Comfort I have give”. Some were as detailed as “Things I have yelled at my brothers”. I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were more cards I expected or fewer cards then I hoped.

I also realized actually each and every card was written in my own handwriting, each signed with my signature.

When I came to a file named “Lustful thoughts”, I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

Suddenly I felt an almost animal range. “No one must ever see these cards, this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. I had to burn the cards! But I don’t seem to dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I have shared the gospel with.” The handle was brighter then those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle; I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw HIM. No, please, not Him. Not here, Oh no, please, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. When I look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. Why did He have to read every card?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room with pity in His eyes. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands, and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

“NO!!” I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No!! No!!” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red, so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His very own blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

This really touched me so much. It give me a new meaning of Jesus took away my sin. It always seems so far away from me. But after seeing this, I realize that oh no, He not only will take away my sin, He replace Himself for every single one of my very sinful sins. Such a pure and holy God replace my sin!!!! Who can ever do this??!!

There is no one, but Jesus. All we have to do is believe.

Vivian